I smell smoke. and lemons.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!! Are you wondering what the heck is guy fawkes day? Just in case, here's a quick run down... Once upon a time, long ago there was a man named guy fawkes. So our buddy pal Guy got together with some friends and they decided that it would be a good idea to blow up parliament and all the big important hot shots inside. Sounds fun, right? Well... It didn't work. Guy was discovered sitting in the basement with several kegs of gunpowder and a match. Apparently attempting mass murder on your country's political leaders is considered a traitorist act (I know, weird huh?) so our very own mister Fawkes was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. I haven't experienced it for myself but I have heard thats a pretty painful way to go. (But I am a little confused with this method of death, what is the point of the drawing and quartering if you have already been hung? By the time you were quartered wouldn't you be dead and, well you know, not feel your body being ripped into pieces?) Anyhow, Guy didn't agree with that idea, so he chose door number 2. While walking across the platform that he was going to be hung from he suddenly leaped off and plunged to his death. What a guy. (hehe, get it? Guy?)
Now, in modern days, we celebrate this particularly useless individual's failure and death by lighting fires and blowing stuff up. Down here in the View (that is Temple View, Hamilton) we mostly just blow up stuff, and each other. Yeah, thats what I said, each other. Here's what happens. Everyone goes out and buys fireworks and then they all go down to the park and shoot them at each other. It's a full out fireworks war. Sounds awesome doesn't it? Also a little dangerous. Don't worry. I escaped with minimal injuries. And just incase you find yourself in Temple View on Guy Fawkes night, I picked up some tips for you, listen to these and you will most likely stay alive. I can't guarantee that you won't get a little singed though
1. Wear black and good running shoes
2. Always keep a lighter on you
3. Ration your fireworks
4. Don't stand in the open
5. Don't stand in too big of a group, they are often targeted
6. But.. Don't go anywhere by yourself. Loners are also targeted
7. Stay away from the houses, they will call the cops 
8. Watch out for cars, drive by shootings are the favorite of anyone who has a license 
9. Pick your fights carefully. Some people go all out and have an endless supply of ammo. Don't bug them cause they will win
10. Before the fight, gather a bunch of lemons

What?! Lemons? Yeah, lemons. They are handy when you run out of fireworks. And they are in big supply as there is a lemon tree in almost every yard. 
Yup, when life gives you lemons, throw them at people.


All in all, a great night. Probably the best guy fawkes day I have ever seen. And I have the burns and singes to prove it.


And the day after? Bribe the little kids to pick up all the firework rubbish. Leave the lemons, they will wash away with the next rain, which will probably be tomorrow.

'Remember, remember the fifth of November..'

Okay :)