I'm struggling here. Trying to take all the emotions that are swirling around in my head and spit them out in a way that makes sense. Although it sounds complicated in my head, I'm sure you understand. The problem is leaving. It seems to be a common theme these days.
Yesterday, I left temple view. In four days I will leave NZ.
When I left Cardston, I knew, eventually, I would be coming back. This time, I'm not so sure. While I would like to say you'll be seeing me in little while, I know that's just not true. Reality is setting in, I have a lot of poor, university years ahead of me. Then I will be busy with my family. Which is what I want, really. My future is in Canada now, and I am really excited about everything it will bring. But the truth is I will not likely be back in NZ for a long time, if ever. It's just not in the cards for me. And as I say goodbye to these many, fabulous people it's hard to accept that, unless through some freak coincidence, I will probably never see them again. People that have meant so much to me the past few months will now only be part of the remember when's and the used to's. The friendships that have grown will now be reduced to occasional comments on photos and status likes.
The last time I left somewhere, I knew I would be back. But leaving here, it's so permanent, so final. When I'm gone, I'm gone.
I will miss New Zealand. No doubt about that.
I really should stop blabbing on though, cause it's not helping. But first, some of my favorite things.
I will miss...
... how fruit comes from a tree, not the supermarket.
... the neighbors that bring stuff over all the time.
... the fish 'n chips, sausage sizzles, and the pies.
... how 'feed' is a noun, not a verb.
... how you is pluralized 'yous'.
... the words 'egg', 'as', and 'gutted'.
... and of course the 'yeah nah's
... the fobs, the fresh as, and the many much mores.
... the diversity.
... how black is matched with black and accessorized by black.
... how blonde hair is an anomaly.
... the colors. Especially green and brown.
... the bus rides.
... the early morning fog.
... ham sandwiches.
... singing while working. And not caring who heard.
... roadtrips.
... driving through the gorge.
... driving through the gorge.
... and yes, even dodgy bunkbeds.
... the sheep.
... the rooster that crowed every morning.
... the sheep.
... the rooster that crowed every morning.
... the rain.
... the hugs and kisses.
... the testimonies in maori.
... the sweet tears shed.
... our relief society.
... the quiet moments at the temple.
... those that truly have gigantic hearts.
... acceptance. They love you, no matter who you are, what you look like or what you wear.
That's the toughest part of travelling. You met so many great people, have such a great time, and LEARN so much. But there is great people and many things to learn everywhere. Have fun travelling in peru. SO JEALOUS
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