Smile

Halloween was different this year. Just another one of those different things I guess. I have so many wonderful halloween memories. I have so many wonderful cardston memories. So many good moments with my friends and family. Many people ask me if I'm homesick. The truth is, I'm not. Not at all. It sounds harsh, but it really is how I feel. I am gratefully for all the good memories I have of home, I look forward to when I will see my family again, but that can wait. Right now I am here and I will enjoy every last moment of it while I am. If I'm sitting around being homesick I just might miss something.

'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened' 

-Dr Seuss

Does that make me crazy? Probably.

Lately my thoughts have been all over the place. I will try and write down how I'm feeling, but already I can feel this post might be a little crazy.

Well I am finally here in Hamilton, and already I love it here. I love being so close to the temple, I feel closer to the spirit already. Today I went for a walk past the church college and up the hill to the temple. The whole way I was walking I couldn't help thinking of my Grandad. He was the head electrician for the building of both buildings. My whole life I have heard wonderful things about the church college. Stories from Grandad from when he was working there. To see that fabulous place for myself was wonderful. It saddens me now that it has closed down, because I know of the many blessings it brought to these people.

I hope that while I am here in Hamilton I will be able to meet some people my own age. I am getting desperate for some good company. I didn't realize how good I had it before, when everyone was only a text away. I wish I could talk to my old friends. I miss you guys. We were so close, we could share everything. I miss that. I miss talking to you. What if we could be together for just one more day? Wouldn't that be glorious? I would have so much to tell you.

Remember when we were younger and everything seemed like such a big deal? No matter what age you are, there were problems, concerns, and difficulties. At the time, it was all consuming. Whether it was a lollypop that was dropped in the dirt, a fight with your best friend, or your mum constantly making you do the dishes. Now as I am older I have realized how ridiculous some of those problems were. Lollypops can be washed off, friendships repaired, and I have realized the dishes won't go away by whining. But now that I am old, mature and somewhat wise I can't help but wonder- what am I missing?  Will I look back on these years and laugh at how clueless I was? Will I wish I had handled certain situations better? Will I regret my actions? I hope not. I hope I will look back on these years and smile. Pleased that I handled everything I was given with strength and faith, persevering and always moving forward to become the person I am supposed to be.
But wait a minute.
Who am I supposed to be? And how do I become that person? Will I ever figure that question out? What am I supposed to do with this life I have been given? There should be an instruction manual or something. cause it's confusing sometimes.

This picture made me smile...

Horizontal stripes + vertical stripes = plaid 

Hamurana springs

Hamurana Springs was actually on the same day as Okere Falls, 

but because I was a little camera happy you get it on two separate posts.

That deep blue chasm you see there is 15 meters deep. 

The water is so clear you can see about 5 meters.

Despite looking calm and tranquil it actually gushes about

1 000 000 gallons of water per hour

AND it tastes delicious! 

Okere Falls

A picture is worth a thousand words. However, none of these pictures fully capture the beauty of this place.
Sorry for the overload.


Okere Falls

The white-ish fern to the left of me is a silver fern. Native only to NZ and the symbol of the All Blacks rugby team

A rope swing into the waterfall? hmmm okay then...

Welcome

This is my happy place.

Wanna play a game? Okay. This is a game I played a long time ago with a friend. I call it 'listen'.
Listen closely, what do you hear?


I hear... the waves lapping gently at my feet.
I hear... the quiet chirping of an unknown bird.
I hear... the ridiculous honking of the swans on the other side of the lake.
I hear... the rustling of a small animal in the bush behind me.
I hear... the melodious song of another bird. and now that I focus on that noise...
I hear... dozens of birds. Their beautiful songs winding in and out and with each other.
I hear... the gurgle of the natural spring on the other side of the meadow.
I hear... my own breathing.
I hear... the leaves shaking in the breeze.
I hear... the branches of the trees bending with the wind.
I hear... a far distant, barely discernible roaring noise. Could it be coming from the ground? No. Maybe the sky? Perhaps it is the sound of the clouds racing across the infinite blue sky. Really it is the roar of the traffic that is never to far away. But that doesn't occur to me as I are standing here on the banks of Lake Tarawera. Because right here, right now, that world doesn't exist. No traffic, no buildings, people, decisions, problems, troubles, sadness, sickness, or pain. It's just me and the nature around me.
One more sound...
I hear... raindrops falling on the water.
oh well, I guess it couldn't last forever.

Oh ya,

By the way. Thursday I leave Rotorua. I'm off to Hamilton. E xcited for whatever awaits me there!

Madly, madly, madly

If you really love me,

When you see me leaving

Just let me go...

-Tristan Prettyman 'Madly'

Sorry 'bout that

Well the last couple posts have been fun to write, boring to read and absolutely useless. Sorry about that. You are probably wondering what I've been up to lately. Well... little bit of this, little bit of that. You know how it goes.

Rotorua Redwoods

I went on a walk through the redwood forest with Aunty Tracy and Kelci. It was so beautiful and peaceful in there. I plan on going back sometime and doing a longer trek. If only I could find a hiking partner. 8 hour round trip to the blue and green lakes through the beautiful forest? Call me crazy, but that sounds awesome.
By the way... The redwoods native here. They are one of the thousands of introduced species. Given as a 'gift' to someone years ago and then they just grew out of control. So they are not as big or tall as the californian redwoods, but give them another couple years and the could be. Everything grows so fast here. The soil is good. The weather is warm and there is lots of rain. All you have to do is throw some seeds on some dirt and you've got a garden. A bird poops and a tree grows. Hey! Even the fence posts grow!

Next: Nana and I went on a lake tour. Self guided and, of course, free! There are so many lakes here: Lake Rotorua, Rotoiti, Rotoma, Okataina, Okareka (also known as the blue lake), Tikitapu (green lake), Rotomahana, Tarewera. And on and on. The best thing? They are all within 20 minutes of each other! There are more, many more, but I won't bore you with all the meaningless names. My favorite? Lake Tarewera. We found a little trail that lead to a secluded meadow. Surrounded by twisting, moss covered trees, complete with it's own fresh underground spring and an remarkable view of the lake. I could have spent all day there. I plan to dedicate a separate post to that wonderful post.

On the shore of Lake Tarawera

 The thing is, Lake Tarewera wasn't always so peaceful. In fact, in erupted in 1886 killing 120 people, burring the pink and white terraces, increasing the lake to almost 4x it's original size. It also buried the village of Te Wairoa in a couple meters of mud and ash. Now it has been turned into a tourist attraction. For a small price you can walk through what is left of a once thriving villiage. Thanks to my somewhat hazy status as a Rotorua resident I got in free. The Buried Village is also where you will find Waiere Falls. What amazed me was how such a little stream could turn into such a spectacular waterfall!

Leading up to Waiere Falls

Waiere Falls

Waiere Falls

There is so much I could tell you, but this post is already to long and I should probably get some sleep. I will update more often, I promise. I will do better next time!

Loves, B

PS Tomorrow it is supposed to rain. Big surprise. So... Smallville marathon anyone? I think so.
Don't you dare judge me

Long walks in the dark

Through woods grown behind the park

I asked God who I'm supposed to be

The stars smiled down at me

God answered in silent reverie

I said a prayer and fell asleep

I had a dream

I could fly from the highest tree

I had a dream

I'm ready now, I'm ready now, 

I'm ready now

To fly from the highest tree

I had a dream




Dream by Priscilla Ahn

Happy Anniversary

Today  was the anniversary of two very wonderful people.

Two people who mean everything to me.

All through my youth I watched them. And by watching I learned so much.

I learned... 

... how to resolve an argument.

... how to stick together when it gets hard

... how to serve others

... how to stick up for what's right

... how to be independent 

... how to make tough decisions

... how to work hard

... how to be my best

... how to love someone with all your soul

... 

You see, Mum and Dad, you taught me how to be strong. You lifted me up and carried me until I was able to support myself. From my infancy when you would support my head because I couldn't. When I would fall and scrape my knees you would be there to pick me up. When I would come home from school upset and exhausted from the events of the day, I could cry on your shoulders. Now, as I am far away from home, I think of all you taught me. And I know that wherever I am, no matter what you will always be there for me. I am so grateful that I have the best parents ever.

I miss you.

I love you.

Love you daughter,

Brittney

Yup. This is for reals.

I am the

Master of the Cube!!
and am really quite proud of myself. 

{I love}

{I love} my little (inexpensive) computer that does everything I need. {I love} how I have a place to sleep. {I love} sleeping. {I love} hearing the birds when I wake up. {I love} how so far I have accomplished my goal of posting pictures at least once a week.

{I love} walking through the forest. 

{I love} walking through the forest and not having to worry about bears or cougars.

         Did you know that NZ has no natural predators?   No lions, tigers, or bears (oh my!). There isn't even anything poisonous!  So in other words... No worrys mate!

{I love} tylenol. {I love} google earth. {I love} sunshine. {I love} my snuggly blanket. {I love} skype. {I love} dreaming. {I love} my Nana and Pop. {I love} blogging. {I love} my family. {I love} how my family reads my blog during family home evenings. {I love} how Anthony is finally back in Australia, and I hope he finds everything he needs there. Even if it is a little hard leaving. {I love} my little cousins. {I love} my Gracie and  I hope she will remember me when I get back. {I love} playing the piano. {I love} hanging out with my Aunty Tracy. {I love} the message I got from Emere the other night. {I love} getting my sisters emails.
{I love} New Zealand.
{I love} life.
{I love}

I can smell the ocean

Today we went here...

Mount Maunganui

We found this place

And I went here

And here

But thankfully, not down here

Where I come from.

Today I went to church. To the ward that, in many ways, is my family's ward. Some people there knew who I was before I even said my name, though the last time they saw me I was a chubby little toddler. I felt a strange connection to these people that I don't know. Just like I feel a connection to this land that is so strange for me. This is where I come from. It is a feeling that I have never experienced before. This feeling of belonging. I grew up in a place where every one else had been born there, and their parents, and their parents parents. They could trace their family back to pioneers. Cardston was, and always had been, their home. Cardston is my home. But only by adoption. This was my home first. This is why I am here. To learn about my first home. About my parents home, and my ancestors'. By learning as much as I can about this home I will be able to understand more. More about my family, my history, and me. What makes me, me.

The good life

You know, 

once you accept the fact that

nothing 

is how you are

 used to it being, 

this life is actually

pretty good.

In the shadows

I have always criticized those people who live in the shadow of a volcano. Don't those idiots know that that thing could explode any time, any day, without warning? Well I am officially one of those idiots. Rotorua is located in something called a caldera. Which is, by definition, is a collapsed volcano. This is the reason for all the thermal activity in this area. You know, boiling mud pools, ponds of crystal clear water that would cook anything that was dropped in, and entire tennis courts being blown to bits by hot steam vents randomly spouting up from the ground. All that fun stuff.

This lovely little pool is one of hundreds. Located right next to a park, actually.

So, am I worried?

 Not at all.

 After all the odds of something happening are small

 right?

and the trees win!!

Remember a couple days ago when I commented on the ongoing battle between the trees and the houses? Well it seems that the trees have the law on their side. Apparently it is illegal to cut down a tree that is over 2 meters tall in Auckland. Why? I have no idea. It's not like the trees need any help.
BUT...
In the neighborhood where Nan and Pop live, unless it is already existing, you are not allowed to grow a tree over 2 meters. You wouldn't wanting a tree to get in the way of someone's view of the lake, now would you? 

This is a tree I found while roaming Auckland with Nana and Pop. I named it Donny. I liked it. It was HUGE! It's branches stretched all the way across the road. I have no idea how old this tree is, but I would like to find out. 

ps. I love this place

Love B

Updated?

It's been a couple days and some things have changed. I thought I better update. On Sunday Nana and Pop came to Auckland and we drove around and showed me all the sights to see. Queens street, harbor bridge, all that good stuff. Nan knows her way around there pretty good, that was her old stomping ground. We visited the house she grew up in. Built 110 years ago by my great, great, great, grandfather for about 100 pounds, now its worth about $2 million. Not because it's a great house, but because it is right on the ocean. More than likely if it was sold now it would be pulled down and a new, modern house would be built in it's place. Sad, but it's the truth.

 We stopped and visited with Aunty Margo, my Nan's sister. and then Jennifer, my Nan's cousin, they both live in Auckland. It was good to meet some of my relations, cause I don't think I have ever met them. 


The drive back to Rotorua is about 4 hours. I was really tired and wanted to but my head down and sleep the whole way, but I enjoyed looking out at the scenery so much that I forced myself to stay awake the entire drive. 

There is so much thermal activity here. This land is literally made up of thousands of volcanoes. This picture is a cone of a  volcano, the dirt around it has eroded away and has left just the cone that is made of more solid rock. It's basically a pillar of rock jutting up out of the ground. and they are all over the place. 
There are hills all over the place. Small ones, big ones, they seem to come up no where. They are in fact, also volcanos. The poor country looks like it has broken out in a bad case of acne. 
Pictures just don't do it justice.

Aunty Tracy and Uncle Mike look just like I remember them, but their kids Kelsey, Mikey and Hamish and grown up a lot. They were really shy at first but we are  doing better. Now they might even talk to me! I have started teaching Hamish piano and he is doing really well!

Well I think that we are almost caught up now. More later I guess.


Love B

Trees

I look out the window and I see the neighboring field. It is overgrown with plants and bushes. Emere tells me most of it is bamboo. This fascinates me, though she can't understand why. I always thought bamboo would be taller and more... chinese and certainly not so common. I look farther down the hill and I see more plants and trees, as far as I can see there is green. And sandwiched in between the trees are houses. I know there must be more houses than what I can see, this is Auckland after all, but they are obscured by the native foliage. I am in the middle of a battle between the houses and the trees. I think the trees are winning. 
You know what? I think I miss the brown.


Right now I am waiting for Nana and Pop to come pick me up. We will be going down to Rotorua. I will be glad to get out of the city and into the country where there is hopefully a little more room to breathe. But it will be sad to leave the Josephs. It has been wonderful staying here. I don't miss my family as much because I have been here. Hopefully I will be able to come back sometime. It has been so easy to be here because the Joshephs have  the same principles and standards to my own family. It's interesting to me how similar the two homes are because they are both built from the same stuff.


love B

Like a Child

What childishness is it that while there's a breath of life 

in our bodies, we are determined to rush 

to see the sun the other way around? 

This is a quote from Elizabeth Bishop's poem Questions of Travel. (want to see the whole poem? click here!) While I have some spare time on my hands I have been thinking about this poem. This line struck me because lots of the time I am one of those people who rush. Is it childishness? I think so. But that is not  necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes a little childishness can be good for us. Must we always take things so seriously? Think of a child. So full of life. Of wonder. Of adventure. Always busy. Always doing something. Squeezing as much as they can into a day. Never looking back. I hope I will be able to have this sort of childishness as I discover this wonderful country. I hope I will be able to fill my days with everything good in my rush to see the sun the other way around.
 Elizabeth Bishop, I defy you. I will rush. I will fill. I will love. The sun will go around. And it will be great.


love B

I wonder when?

Everything is different here. I was expecting that. But still it is a little ... tiring... I guess you could say. It is tiring cause I can't relax. I am on edge a lot of the time, I am not completely comfortable here yet. They ask me how it is different and, honestly, I can't answer. Everything is. the houses. the people. the food. the shops. the roads. the cars. the money. and I could go on and on. Please don't misunderstand me. Different is good. It is exactly what I wanted. And I don't regret wanting that. I rejoice in the differences, because without that I would never learn. But I cling to the few things that are the same. These keep me sane. But what I was wondering was, How long will it be until it isn't different any more?

ummm...

okay right now I am suffering from a lethal combination of sugar and jetlag. I highly suggest you don't try it. But I am determined to stay up all day. Supposedly it's better that way. I thought it would be best to start off this adventure on a good foot, I hope I will be able to continue blogging regularly. but i will see how this goes, it is a little hard to type right now, my fingers aren't working very good for some reason...
I guess I will start at the beginning. 
I woke up monday morning feeling... slightly anxious, to say the least. The rest of the day I wandered around putting the last minute things in my bag. About noon  I was feeling nauseous and was thinking That I am an idiot. Drove to Calgary. Was a typical drive, with kids shouting and yelling and plenty of 'are we there yet?'s. but all the sweeter because I knew it would be the last. Ate at the airport with the fam jam. and then it was time to say good bye. That was tough walking away from them, and i will always remember looking back and seeing them all standing there, smiling at me. I was grateful that there was no one to watch me wipe away my tears as I walked around the corner. 
American customs? consider yourself owned. Although about half-way through the line in said customs I had a panicked thought that I had forgotten my portable hard drive. There wasn't time or room to look for it though and nothing to do if I didn't have it. But never fear! That wonderful man who worked for customs was kind enough to find it for me when he pulled the entire contents of my bag out! apparently my make up brush looks like a container of liquids when turned at a certain angle.
okay I have a feeling this could be a long post so I will speed it up a little.
Calgary to LAX: hmm okay. Plane was 45 minutes late, so I barely made my connection. I sat with a wonderful lady who slept from take off to landing. Ya I was a little jealous. 
LAX to auckland: could have been better. Was sitting next to the most humungous man I have ever seen. To say he was big would be an extreme exaggeration. but it was okay. I just spent the next 11 and 57 minutes literally hugging the wall of the plane in order to avoid getting squished. was slightly worried as my bags took a very long time in coming. but eventually they did and I escaped from the airport relatively unharmed.
And just to rub it in. For lunch I had a fish burger and chips with a fijoa and raspberry slushie.
My apologies if some of this doesn't make sense, and for my random punctuation and sporadic capitalization. but I desperately need to sleep. 


With love B

Questions of Travel

I learned of this poem through a friend, who thought it would be applicable to me as I travel.  I loved it the first time I read it. And each time I do so again I learn more from it.  I guess that is the beauty of poetry then huh? Questions of Travel There are too many waterfalls here; the crowded streams hurry too rapidly down to the sea, and the pressure of so many clouds on the mountaintops makes them spill over the sides in soft slow-motion, turning to waterfalls under our very eyes. --For if those streaks, those mile-long, shiny, tearstains, aren't waterfalls yet, in a quick age or so, as ages go here, they probably will be. But if the streams and clouds keep travelling, travelling, the mountains look like the hulls of capsized ships, slime-hung and barnacled. Think of the long trip home. Should we have stayed at home and thought of here? Where should we be today? Is it right to be watching strangers in a play in this strangest of theatres? What childishness is it that while there's a breath of life in our bodies, we are determined to rush to see the sun the other way around? The tiniest green hummingbird in the world? To stare at some inexplicable old stonework, inexplicable and impenetrable, at any view, instantly seen and always, always delightful? Oh, must we dream our dreams and have them, too? And have we room for one more folded sunset, still quite warm? But surely it would have been a pity not to have seen the trees along this road, really exaggerated in their beauty, not to have seen them gesturing like noble pantomimists, robed in pink. --Not to have had to stop for gas and heard the sad, two-noted, wooden tune of disparate wooden clogs carelessly clacking over a grease-stained filling-station floor. (In another country the clogs would all be tested. Each pair there would have identical pitch.) --A pity not to have heard the other, less primitive music of the fat brown bird who sings above the broken gasoline pump in a bamboo church of Jesuit baroque: three towers, five silver crosses. --Yes, a pity not to have pondered, blurr'dly and inconclusively, on what connection can exist for centuries between the crudest wooden footwear and, careful and finicky, the whittled fantasies of wooden footwear and, careful and finicky, the whittled fantasies of wooden cages. --Never to have studied history in the weak calligraphy of songbirds' cages. --And never to have had to listen to rain so much like politicians' speeches: two hours of unrelenting oratory and then a sudden golden silence in which the traveller takes a notebook, writes: "Is it lack of imagination that makes us come to imagined places, not just stay at home? Or could Pascal have been not entirely right about just sitting quietly in one's room? Continent, city, country, society: the choice is never wide and never free. And here, or there . . . No. Should we have stayed at home, wherever that may be?" - Elizabeth Bishop

love B